About Me and My Dark Secret

Writing came early, before the move to Victoria, before my husband Mark, and even before I knew how. I lived in a small patch of trees on the outskirts of Leduc for many years. It got lonely and I never wanted to play nice with my little sister. So, alone, I made up stories, grand adventures with dragons and fairies, animals that could talk, and ice monsters that migrated with the snow.

When I did stay in town with a friend I played at Kim’s house. She was six and I seven. She loved my stories and would plop onto her single bed all wide eyed, attention fully on me. I would tell her the adventure and bring her into the tale. She’d add to the epic adventure with her thoughts and ideas. We’d laugh at jokes and cry at the when someone died. Hours and hours of tales. No dolls, no toys, we had little use for them. Our imagination took us to places that TV didn’t dare explore.
Those hours turned to days, days to weeks. Weeks blended into months. Months into years.
What started verbal turned into written as the years of age transformed the way we thought. The story darkened and lightened with our mood. We’d killed off teachers and children that upset us. Blended our favourite shows in with our new reality and found out what it would be like if a character we liked joined with us. We named our world Forever.
The story twisted its fingers into my soul, captivated by its limitless power. I loved it, every second.

… Then kim and I…we had a fight. Our friendship broke…
I zipped the binder and hid it. Never to speak of writing and the love that transformed my dull life into a magical adventure. My marvellous reality sealed away, and forgotten.

Six years passed. Mark and I had been together for a year. We had moved into my moms place so she could watch our animals while we drove across British Colombia. As we got ready for our month long trip… I found the forbidden binder. Mark saw it and my stunned reaction. It reminded me of Kim, my dearest friend and the world we created together over the years.
“What’s that?” Mark asked as he peeked over at the thick tattered binder.
“My hidden…dark secret.”
“Your dark secret?” His brow raised.
He lifted the binder from my hands and begun to unzip. My heart throbbed and fists clenched. I didn’t want to remember all the fun and wonder the contents within gave me.
“Note books?” He spotted a green coiled book clasped in the three silver rings. Careful fingers flipped though the first few pages. “Forever?” He questioned as he read the header and smiled. “Your dark secret is that your a writer?” He laughed hard and fell to the bed, his eyes darted around the childish writing. Guess my dark secret could have been worse.
I explained to him about Kim, our world, and our fight. Though I couldn’t recall why we had our argument.
“That sounds silly babe,” Mark said, his hand still busy with the pencilled pages. “If you enjoy it, then do it. Don’t let anyone stand in your way.”

A new spark ignited, I booted up my computer, clicked onto word and retyped Forever. I removed the kiddy touch and twisted the story into a sinister tale, the way I knew she would like it.
When I had half it wrote, I called Kim. I knew the number by heart, and knew it would still work even after all those long years.
“Hello,” Kim answered, I knew her voice and deeply missed it.
“I rewrote it,” I stated.
“Tims?”
“Tims.”
After six years of being apart we still knew each other. Few words were ever needed, we just knew.

The crowded coffee shop constantly shifted, people came and went like a busy bee hive. Kim strolled in dressed in her blue sweater, bought her coffee and joined me at the table in the corner. She turned the open laptop toward her, sipped her coffee and read.
My hot smooth coffee slid down my tense throat as I watched her. Kim’s lips curled at the corners and her bright topaz eyes lifted from the story to me. “Your grammar and spelling still stinks.” She and I shared a laugh. “How have you been?”
And just like that, my dark secret resurfaced and added a new brighter light to my life.

To this day I continue to learn more and more ways to improve my writing. Forever turned to Wicked which I am still working on, six years of catch-up to play before its ready, it’s so close. Kim and I talk everyday as if nothing ever happened. She’s still my inspiration, and will always be.

What was once my dark secret is now my obsession.